Tails and Temptations
by situationalstudent
Summary: Offering to watch Romano's cat might not have been the best decision for Italy and Germany's love life. They try to make do.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

Ludwig would never know why he thought offering to watch Lovino's cat while he was on vacation was in any way a good idea. Perhaps it was because, secretly, he wanted Feliciano's brother to cease his baseless terror-assault on him. Or, maybe it was because Feliciano promised the cat was much nicer than his owner.

But mostly it was because there were promises of mind-blowing sex in there, too. He could not forget about that.

Now, Lovino Vargas was in their living room, holding a large cat to his chest. The cat looked vaguely nauseated. Ludwig's heart ached for his carpet already.

"This is Romano," Lovino said, depositing the horrible animal in Feliciano's arms. "And he only eats high quality salmon wet food. None of your nasty fucking wurst, you asshole potato eater. Not if you don't like cat-puke. And none of your pasta, Feliciano. But even you aren't that retarded."

"Ve, but Lovino, Gino loves pasta! And he and Romano-cat could bond over it!"

"You're stupid. You and your stupid potato are stupid."

Ludwig pointedly ignored that, and suppressed the urge to respond with something about hungry cat. He mentally patted himself on the back for not rising to Lovino's taunts. He could not ignore, however, the oversized bag Lovino had thrown at his feet.

"What's in that?" he said, icily polite.

"It's all his shit, what else would it be? His toys, and his fucking catnip, and his goddamn sweaters and booties," Lovino said.

There was an awkward pause. It continued to be awkward. Ludwig and Feliciano watched as Lovino very slowly went red. Feliciano decided to test the waters.

"Um. Your cat wears sweaters?"

Lovino's ascent into ruddy-face territory continued. Ludwig looked at him in interest, hoping that he might explode, or at least do something mildly interesting.

But as is often the case, people do exactly what is expected of them. Lovino was no different.

"Shut the fuck up. I have a plane to catch, cock-sucker. He eats twice a day. I'll call you when I get there. Fuck you."

And then he was gone, leaving Feliciano sad he had not gotten a farewell hug, and Ludwig not particularly surprised.

"He's gotten better, hasn't he, Ludwig?" said Feliciano, after a decent pause. He stroked Romano behind his ears. "He actually said he would call when he got there. And, um, 'fuck you' is practically a term of endearment, you know. Coming from him, I mean."

"Hmm. Why, exactly, couldn't Antonio watch the cat?"

Feliciano stopped stroking Romano's ears. "What?"

"Well, why not?"

"Ve, Ludwig, Antonio is going with him!"

"He's going on vacation with his roommate?"

Feliciano giggled, briefly. "He's had the same male roommate since college? Grandpa and I pretend we don't know, for his sake."

Ludwig did not know how to handle this information, so he ignored it. "Let's get his cat settled in, then."

He did not want to touch the cat. Romano gave him the foulest look he had ever seen from someone who was not Lovino Vargas, so he allowed Feliciano to handle the Catversary, Destroyer of Dogs, Kitty of the Bottomless Pit, the beast that is called Catgon, Tom of this world, and Spawn of Kitty-Satan.

"Ve, hey, Romano, I have to introduce you to Gino. You'll love him! Unless you are like my brother, then you'll hate him," Feliciano crooned at the cat, tickling his stomach. The cat, for his part, hissed at him and sunk his claws into the soft flesh of Feliciano's neck.

Naturally, he shrieked and dropped The Beast, as he shall now be known to Ludwig, who immediately ran across the expensive Arabian floor-rug with claws extended and back arched. Manly tears brimmed in Ludwig's eyes as he watched the whole-sale destruction of his carpet.

"Not…the carpet," he said while Feliciano whimpered.

"He mauled me! Ludwig, he mauled me! Ve, he's evil! _He's going to eat Gino!_"

Romano's tail flicked as he rounded the corner into the hallway at record speed. Gino, being the relatively unintelligent cat that he was, appeared from the bedroom upon hearing his name.

"Miau," said Gino, coming up to rub against Feliciano's legs.

"No, stay back, Gino! Ludwig…are you okay?"

Ludwig continued to stare at the carpet, nearly catatonic. Kiku had abused the one-sided affections from the Turkish man who dealt in Arabian carpets to get him a good deal. That rug was special.

Feliciano reached over to touch his shoulder. "Ve, Ludwig, are you okay?"

"I hate your brother," he said in a small voice.

"He is kind of a dick, isn't he?" said Feliciano, rubbing Ludwig's shoulder comfortingly. "But the cat! He's in the kitchen!"

Ludwig set his jaw. The emotional loss of the carpet had to be dealt with later. No cat was going to mess with _his_kitchen. He followed the scratch marks in the hardwood to find the cat clawing at the newly refinished cherry wood cabinets. He felt something inside him break.

Feliciano waited but a moment to dash after Ludwig to prevent anything drastic from happening.

"Ludwig, no! It's too dangerous!" Feliciano said upon reaching the kitchen, one hand stretched beseechingly toward Ludwig, Gino at his heels.

"This cat has to know he doesn't own the place, Feliciano!"

Ludwig had the cat by the scruff of his neck. The two appeared to be engaged in a sort of stare-down. Feliciano honestly did not know what to think.

"Ve, Ludwig, why are you staring down Lovino's cat?"

"I don't know!" he wailed before turning his attention to Romano. "You, cat, no more of this. If you do this again, there will be punishment. You will not like the punishment. It may involve a lack of catnip. Or spending time with Gino, and God knows how no one wants to do that."

Gino mewed then, pleased to hear his name.

Romano's face contorted into an expression that one might call horror if seen on a human.

"Do we understand each other, cat?"

Romano mewed piteously. Ludwig took that to be an affirmative and placed Romano on the tiled floor. Still, Feliciano had a hard time accepting that Ludwig had just reasoned with a cat.

Romano turned, shamefaced, and barreled out of the kitchen.

Feliciano bundled Gino to his chest and approached Ludwig tentatively. He touched his shoulder and realized he was breathing very heavily.

"Are the cabinets okay?" he said, quietly, to avoid an explosion.

It hit Ludwig all at once.

"Just…refinished…four thousand dollars…loans…"

Sighing, Feliciano let Gino slip from his arms and pulled Ludwig into a hug, pressing his lips close to Ludwig's ear.

"It's only three more weeks," he whispered. "And you will get the best sex you've ever had. That's better than expensive cabinets, isn't it?"

Ludwig swallowed thickly. Three more weeks.

The sex had better be worth it.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Midafternoon brought a small reprieve for the Vargas-Beillschmidt household; The Beast had fallen asleep.

He may have been sprawled out so his body from nose to tail took up the recently clawed loveseat in its entirety, but asleep he was.

Feliciano and Ludwig sat at the kitchen table, cherry wood to match to ruined cabinets, hashing out a plan. Ludwig breathed a sigh of relief, running a hand through his hair. The sofa was old anyway. It could be replaced.

Feliciano had other thoughts.

"Ve," he said, sadly. "I always liked that sofa. Do you remember when you pushed me down on it and just—?"

Ludwig fought the blush that threatened to rise and cut Feliciano off before that sentence could get too steamy.

"I remember something like that happening once. But we have more important matters at hand! Don't look at me like that!"

Feliciano contrived to have the most tragic look Ludwig had ever seen on anything that was not an abandoned puppy. "But what could be more important than making love, Ludwig?"

"Many things! Surviving the next three weeks without murdering your brother's cat, for one," said Ludwig. He sighed and rubbed is temples. "What were you saying about keeping him happy?"

"We could feed him pasta! It always calms Gino down," said Feliciano, hurt feelings completely forgotten at the thought of pasta. "I wanted to make lasagna today anyway!"

He said that just a little too loudly, and they both froze. Ludwig turned slowly to see Romano staring at them from the living room, eyes glazed and deliriously angry.

"You woke him up," Ludwig said in a whisper.

Feliciano looked like he was going to cry. "What do we do now? He's going to do something horrible!"

"Maybe if we are very quiet and pretend we did not see him, he'll go back to sleep," said Ludwig.

So they did that. They pointedly turned around and tried to pretend everything was just perfectly fine because, maybe, it would be, please, please let it be fine. Feliciano risked a look over his shoulder and the cat had indeed lowered its foul little head and gone back to sleep.

"Ve…he's asleep again, Ludwig."

"Maybe we should just drug him…do we still have those sedatives from when Gino had his surgery? _What_?"

"You can't just drug my brother's cat!" said Feliciano, affronted. "Lovino would murder me! He loves that cat more than me, that's for sure."

"It would keep him quiet and we wouldn't have to take explain to the condo association why there are horrible sounds of torture and terror coming from our unit. It seems reasonable; he and Gino are about the same size."

"No. For once, I am the one making reasonable decisions and we are _not _drugging Romano. Ve, we'll just give him pasta and he'll get happy! No one can be sad when there is pasta to be had!" Feliciano said happily.

Ludwig shrugged. He did not particularly care at this point if Lovino got his cat back with serious pasta induced digestive tract problems. He was too busy thinking about what he was going to tell the bank about getting another loan for _new-_new cabinets.

He had serious doubts that assault by the kitty-anti-Christ was covered by insurance.

"I'm going to call the insurance," said Ludwig, standing up. "If you're going to make pasta, you might want to do it before The Beast wakes up."

Feliciano smiled and reached out to grab Ludwig's hand, standing with him. "Ve, I will. And afterward that, we should, ah, partake in the first day of your reward, don't you think?"

Ludwig flushed deeply while Feliciano meandered over to the refrigerator.

"I see you have finally caught on to the art of euphemism, Feliciano," he said, more than a little awkwardly, and Feliciano laughed.

Just as he was turning to leave the kitchen he heard something go '_miau_' from the vicinity of his ankle. He did not want to look down. He was tempted to lie to himself and insist it was just Gino being demanding, but there was something about that '_miau_' that screamed evil. It was Romano, he just knew it.

He braced himself for the sting of claws raking through his trousers, but it did not come. Instead he felt the brush of a furry tail and looked down to see Romano approaching his lover. Ludwig felt a lump in his throat.

"Feliciano," he said hoarsely.

"Mmm?" was the reply from Feliciano's turned back.

"He's…he's right behind you."

Feliciano visibly stiffened. But the cat did not seem intent on whole-scale massacre and Catpocalypses. Rather, he shot Ludwig a truly evil glare but ultimately ignored him in favor of rubbing against Feliciano's legs, mewing piteously.

Ludwig shuffled out of the kitchen; he did not want to see the inevitable carnage. Hopefully, Feliciano would be able to ward off the schizotypal tendencies of the cat. One minute he was the Catversary, the next he was as soppy as Gino. It just did not seem right.

At that moment it dawned on Ludwig; he did not need an insurance agent right now. He needed a feline expert.

It was time to call Kiku.

* * *

><p>"Oh, I see, Romano-kitty; you're hungry!" Feliciano cooed to the cat, scooping ricotta into a bowl. He was proud that he kept most of the terror out of his voice. If Romano was in a good mood for the moment, he was not going to mess it up for himself.<p>

"Well, it is nearly time for Gino to eat, but wouldn't you rather wait for the pasta?"

The cat ceased his rubbing against and between Feliciano's ankles. His gravelly purr stopped and his yellow eyes narrowed.

"Never mind!" Feliciano said hurriedly. "I'm sure Ludwig has your wet-food in your kitty bag, right? Ludwig! Ludwig! Help me!"

No help came. He was alone with the hungry cat, who was, apparently, quite hungry. "Ludwig?"

He was all alone.

Romano pounced.

* * *

><p>Thank you to everyone who favoritedstory alerted this story! I hope you continue to enjoy.


	3. Chapter 3

Were Kiku to be truly honest with himself, which he often was not, he would say that he had just had the strangest phone call of his life.

It had started off normally enough. He and Ludwig were close friends; it was not unusual for them to call each other.

"Hello, Kiku," Ludwig had said, sounding decidedly harried. "How are you?"

And Kiku had not said anything about his current state of cat-covered immobility, because Kiku did his best not to burden people with his personal problems. "I am fine, and you?"

"As well as can be expected, thank you. Er…I have a cat problem and I was wondering if you or Heracles had any advice."

"Is this Lovino's cat that you offered to watch?"

He took the exasperated sigh to mean a yes.

"Well, Heracles is asleep right now, so you can ask me."

"Should an altered male cat act so…well, insane? As in, ripping up carpet, defiling cabinets insane?"

Kiku wiggled his arm to dislodge the Corporal, Constable, and Commander Cats, shifting across the cat-covered sofa to rouse Heracles from his nap.

He had just been about to ask Heracles that same question when he heard the screaming from the phone. It sounded suspiciously Italian. There was the thud of a mobile hitting the floor.

"Ludwig? Ludwig, is everything okay?" he said, ignoring Heracles's questioning face.

Ludwig's voice grew distant but Feliciano's screams rang out clear.

"He got my face, Ludwig!_ I'm going to be disfigured_!"

And then there were the yowls of cats and the sound of cutlery being thrown. That was where Kiku decided to hang up. He did not want to hear the carnage.

Heracles shuffled closer and slung an arm over Kiku's shoulders, kissing behind his ear. Heracle was always most amorous after a nap.

"Hmm. That was Ludwig?" he said, yawning.

"Yes.

"How are things going for them?"

"Oh, you know. The usual."

* * *

><p>After much bandaging, crying, and cat-chasing, Ludwig finally got Feliciano calmed down and Romano banished from the bathroom where he was still on his knees, applying anti-septic to Feliciano's various claw-wounds. Feliciano drew in a sharp breath while Ludwig painstakingly disinfected the wounds near his lips.<p>

"I'm sorry," he said, dabbing at the claw mark.

Feliciano sniffled sadly. "Am I going to be disfigured?"

Ludwig sighed. "No, you are not going to be disfigured. Don't fidget!"

"Ve! I'm sorry; it just hurts…." Feliciano said. He used the back of his wrist to wipe away the last of the tears. "Where's Gino?"

"I put him in the bedroom, for his own safety. That horrible cat is bipolar, I tell you," Ludwig said with a sigh. He finished placing a small round bandage near Feliciano's eye. "There, you're done."

Feliciano stood up and offered his un-bandaged hand to Ludwig. "I think I should probably finish the lasagna, if it's safe to go out… I have it all set up, it just needs to go in the oven."

"He was sleeping in the guest bathroom sink, last I saw him," said Ludwig, taking the proffered hand. "It should be safe, I think."

"Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you," Feliciano whispered, pressing kisses all over Ludwig's face. "I'll put the lasagna on, okay? And you should take a picture of Romano! We could upload it to that site with cats in sinks, ve!"

Ludwig sighed good-naturedly. He would always be amazing at how easily Feliciano could switch from weepy-sadness to genial cheeriness.

"You do that, Feliciano," Ludwig said. "I'll set out food for the cats."

* * *

><p>Feliciano really <em>was<em> a good cook, but his cooking was hardly what was on Ludwig's mind during dinner. Despite his unfortunate run-in with Romano earlier, he was determined to make good on his promises of mind-blowing sex, and now he was in Ludwig's lap, feeding him lasagna and wine, doing things with his hips that may well be illegal in several countries.

"Is that good?" he whispered, grinding his erection against Ludwig's stomach. "Do you like my cooking?"

Ludwig let out a choked groan. "Yes. Yes. I love your cooking."

"Mm. And do you like my body? I like _your_ body, Ludwig, and I want to see more of it," Feliciano said, his tone entirely too innocent for what he was saying. "Take off your shirt."

Ludwig fumbled with his buttons and felt Feliciano's smaller hands come to help him after setting down the fork. Feliciano pulled his shirt open and slid slender hands down the center of his lover's chest, tweaking one budding nipple harshly. He loved the way Ludwig hissed.

"Oh, Ludwig! I _really_ like your chest. I just want to, oh, lick it all over," he said, and he reached behind him for the wine glass, dribbling Cabernet Sauvignon down Ludwig's chest and following it with his tongue. Ludwig moaned helplessly.

"Ludwig, you're hard! Let me see." And then Feliciano slid from his lap and onto the floor, wine glass still in hand, and settled between his knees. "Oh, it's gotten so hard. Just from me? Oh, Ludwig, Ludwig, Ludwig... You flatter me!"

Ludwig's breathing quickened as Feliciano unzipped him with his teeth, reaching inside and pulling out his erection. Feliciano gripped him almost reverently.

"Beg me, Ludwig. Please, beg me to suck your cock," he said. "I want to lick this all over, too. Let me."

Feliciano's voice always went straight to Ludwig's libido. "Please, Feliciano, please. Please, suck my cock."

"Okay, Ludwig, since you asked so nicely," said Feliciano and drizzled the wine on Ludwig there, too, and, once again, his mouth followed.

He pressed the flat of his tongue against the bulbous glans, moaning low in his throat as he did so, enjoying the salty taste of pre-ejaculate. Ludwig tangled his fingers in Feliciano's hair but did not push him further. Feliciano knew exactly what he was doing; he needed no encouragement.

"Oh, oh, Feliciano. Just like that, please, just like that…."

But Feliciano pulled off his purpled erection with a smirk, lips slightly bruised.

"Ve, I can't have you coming now, Ludwig! I want to have you inside me tonight. And you haven't even touched me yet! Now, that doesn't seem very fair, now does it?"

Feliciano stood up and fumbled with his own trousers, removing them and then the underwear beneath. He crawled back into Ludwig's lap, stroking his hardened penis all the while.

"Touch it, Ludwig. Touch me here."

There was no denying Feliciano when he spoke like that. Ludwig gripped Feliciano's penis gently, carefully rubbing at the covered glans.

"Can I?" he asked softly. Feliciano nodded slightly, eyes shut tightly.

Ludwig gently pushed Feliciano's foreskin back, just enough to expose the sensitive tip. Feliciano gasped, but did not make him stop.

"Oh, yes, Ludwig, yes, please, touch me there, put your fingers inside me, fuck me, fuck me,_ fuck me_!"

And then there was a crash and a furious caterwauling came with it. The sound sent Feliciano flying from his lap, still hard, quite flustered. "What happened?"

"I don't know, but I seriously doubt that I am going to like it," Ludwig said irritably. His sexual frustration angered him and whoever ended this wonderful moment was going to pay. He tucked himself back into his trousers and made his way down the hall and into the guest bathroom where he found Romano in the tub wrapped in the shower curtain, shower-rod on the floor, yowling. Feliciano was right behind him, still naked from the waist down, and he covered his face with his hands.

"Romano! Why?" he said, tears in his eyes. "Ludwig and I were going to make love! Why couldn't you wait to destroy the bathroom?"

Ludwig was already shooing the cat and readjusting the shower-rod, however. Feliciano looked up eagerly. He was still hard; he wanted to continue.

"We could still have sex, right Ludwig?"

Ludwig swallowed. "Maybe later. When Romano is asleep. I can't continue now, not when I'm worrying about whether Romano is going to do something horrible again. I'm sorry. I'll get you off, if you like."

Feliciano looked up shyly. "I would."

So Ludwig did.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Sorry about this heinous wait, yeah? And sorry about my fail attempts at smut. _


	4. Chapter 4

"I miss Romano."

This admission came from Antonio, far away from all of Feliciano and Ludwig's troubles, in a comfortable hotel room in a quiet town somewhere in the Austrian Alps where he lay with Lovino curled at his side after a long day of sightseeing and a long night filled with a rather more interesting, and horizontal, sort of sightseeing. Never mind that they had seen those sights many times before.

Lovino, for his part, rolled over and pointedly ignored the man addressing him, along with the bare chest against his equally naked back.

Antonio huffed, warm breath ghosting by Lovino's ear. "I really mean it, Lovino! I miss our little kitty!"

"Shut up."

"Aw, let me lament our separation, my little tomato!"

Lovino struggled against Antonio's arms and scooted across the bed. "Don't call me that. And I'm trying to sleep. And he's _my cat_, you bastard."

"Oh, I get it!" Antonio said, cheerfully, blissfully carrying on without a thought, stretching his arms to ensnare Lovino once again. "You don't want me to talk about how much I miss him, because then you'll be reminded of how much you miss your little baby! That's so cute!"

"Aargh! Shut up! I'm trying to sleep, you oblivious bastard!" Lovino said, once again turning away from Antonio. "And he's not my baby! Not, not, _not_ my baby, you stupid asshole!"

But Antonio carried on, because these are the things that Antonio thinks about at night post-coitus.

"Ah ha ha! But you _do _dote upon him, Lovino, dear! Always with the booties and the fancy treats that you think I don't notice. And do you remember the time I saw calling him 'Romanino' and letting him eat the whipped cream off your coffee?" Antonio pressed on. "So, I think he is your baby, and since you always swear and scream and throw things at me when I mention _real _babies, I guess this is the closest I can get…."

And Lovino felt his heart break at the tragic tone in Antonio's voice at that last remark; he knew how much Antonio wanted kids. He wriggled and turned around to face Antonio, and their noses brushed against each other.

"Well," he said, feeling terribly guilty, and pressed his face into Antonio's chest so he wouldn't have to look him in the face. "Maybe next time you bring it up, I won't shout so much. As long as you don't surprise me, and don't tease me. Bastard."

He fiddled with a lock of Antonio's hair, and could feel a smile on Antonio's lips when he pressed a kiss to his forehead.

* * *

><p>Ludwig woke up to the event that every cat owner had learned to fear each morning; the dreaded stomach-jump-nose-prod-whiskers-in-face move.<p>

"Oof," he said, feeling paws that hid claws like razor-wire press against his diaphragm through his tank top.

He tried not to open his eyes. If he kept his eyes closed, then he could maintain the façade that this was merely Gino on his chest, and not the the Catversary, Destroyer of Dogs, Kitty of the Bottomless Pit, the beast that is called Catgon, Tom of this world, and Spawn of Kitty-Satan, Romano-cat.

But, he knew that it was impossible to feign sleep forever; if he ultimately proved useless, he knew Romano would turn his attentions to Feliciano, who lay sleeping, blissfully unaware, at Ludwig's side. And Feliciano, nude as ever, had far fewer defenses against the evil. So he cracked an eye, peering into the round green eyes of a cat and sighed gratefully. It was Gino.

He carefully slid his right arm from Feliciano's tight grip and brought his hand up to Gino's head, where he scratched his ears good-naturedly.

"I thought you were Romano for a moment there," he told the cat.

And Gino said, "Miau," because he's a cat and that's generally what cats say. He continued to stare at Ludwig in a slightly disconcerting manner and then mewed again, quietly.

Ludwig closed his eyes and sighed again. "You're hungry, aren't you?"

"Miau."

"So I'll be feeding you, then?"

"_Miau." _There was a flick of a tail and cock of the head.

Ludwig sighed, defeated.

"You sigh a lot, Ludwig," Feliciano said sleepily, wriggling awake. "Ve. Are you going to feed him now?"

"Yes, we must keep them on a proper schedule," Ludwig said, brushing the cat off of his chest and onto Feliciano's, where the cat purred happily. Feliciano hugged the cat and smiled at Ludwig.

"You know…I think we should try again today," he said, stretching while Ludwig shuffled out of bed and over to the dresser, rummaging for socks.

"Try what?"

"Ve! Sex, of course," Feliciano said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, and then his voice dipped into something significantly huskier. "I want to fuck you in the shower and make you beg for my cock."

Ludwig made a soft choking sound and hid his flaming face, still rummaging for a matching pair of socks that were not the horribly impractical but oh-so comfortable cashmere house socks Feliciano seemed to have so many of. "Really."

"Oh, _yes._ And you would love it, squirming while I finger you and finally just begging me to put it all in you," he said before abruptly going back to his sleepy, happy, innocent tone of earlier. "But not till later! First we need kitty breakfast, and then people breakfast, and then I have to go to the store and get more olive oil and tomatoes, because you know we ran out, ve, and I want to make tasty pasta for lunch today, and then I can fuck you long and hard while you beg for more. Okay?"

Ludwig, having found the socks, discovered all he could do was agree with Feliciano as he, face still firmly facing the floor, pulled his socks on.

"Ah, um. Yes, that sounds…enjoyable," he said, wondering why he was so embarrassed. "Er. Um. Do you want me to start breakfast after I get the cats fed?"

"Oh, no, I'll get breakfast today since I won't be able to do dinner tonight," Feliciano said, rising out of bed with Gino in his arms. "Remember, I have to go to the gallery tonight to make sure the installation goes well?"

Ah, yes. Work. Ludwig had been pointedly not thinking about when the weekend would end and they would have to go to work, thus leaving the house. Alone. With Romano. Ludwig could feel his stress rising at that thought, so he pushed it to the back of his mind.

"Oh, yes," Ludwig said as he made the bed that Feliciano always seemed to forget existed the moment he was out of it. "How late will you be?"

Feliciano's face scrunched comically as he thought about it.

"Nine-ish? I know it's a Sunday but, oh, well," Feliciano said. "We need to pay for _new_, new cabinets anyway, ve!"

Gino mewed at that, and Ludwig felt his soul shatter a little more.

* * *

><p>Surprisingly, feeding the cats was not as terrifying as Ludwig had anticipated. Romano was asleep on the sofa, and he merely set out the dry food for Gino and the tinned food for Romano and settled down to a breakfast of pastries and the frighteningly strong coffee Feliciano made in their small, bright lit kitchen.<p>

"Mm, so I was thinking," Feliciano said, gesturing with a croissant. "We should banish Romano to one room while we're at work, so he doesn't eat Gino or pee on the drapes or somethign, ve."

Ludwig looked at the drapes and thought for a moment, sipping his coffee.

"That seems like a good idea," he said. "But what would your brother think?"

"Oh, he'll probably murder me and accuse me of child—I mean, kitty abuse, ve. That's why we don't tell him!"

"Ah."

"Yes."

Ludwig nodded. "Seems reasonable."

And thus the plan, codename "Contain the Evulz," as Feliciano would later call it, was hatched.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Why, look at that. A swift update? Oh, wait, is that because it was already posted on the kink meme? Oh, lolsauce. As always, I hope you enjoyed and whatnot._


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